Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
