Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
