Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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