That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
