i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
