She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
