I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
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