I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
