Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize