drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
