I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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