We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
