wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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