called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
