susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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