9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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