my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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