AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I think your dad took our porno
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
