I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
