I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
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