I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
