worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
