it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
