i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
