I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
