They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
