He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize