is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
