4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
