I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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