Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
