Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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