Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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