I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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