if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
