if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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