You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
The power of my boobs compel you
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize