dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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