No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
