Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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