He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
