Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
