I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
