You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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