we're blogging at a bar
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Randomize
