If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I need to stop coming to work sober
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Maybe he injected his testicle?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
