Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize
