You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
