Jerry, you need to find god
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
