i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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