your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize