i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
