He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
