I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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