The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
