I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
