I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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