I skipped work to stalk him.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
