508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
i drank out of a bidet.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
