I wish life had little blips of pornography
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
