Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
