good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
