She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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