I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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