just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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