thus making me awesome and them whores
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Randomize
