If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
